there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize