never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
