the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Randomize
