But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Randomize
