Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Randomize
