My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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