Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
