There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
