How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize
