I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I bet he comes in French.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
