I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
