are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Randomize
