He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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