clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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