I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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