I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
True strength comes from lack of pants
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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