id be glad to
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
