He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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