I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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