everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
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