just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
