Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Randomize
