Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
