Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Holy sore nipples Batman
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
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