WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Randomize
