Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
