ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
