dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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