no, he came in my armpit
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize