best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
