I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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