you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
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