i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
