Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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