Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
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