I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
