Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
