allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
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