And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
You should frame my arrest warrant.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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