Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
The adults are the big ones right?
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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