Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
