You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
