from now on my penis is your penis
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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