"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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