my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Randomize
