Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
