Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
