Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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