honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Randomize
