i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
