He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
