ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Randomize
