marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
