Pregnant stripper...not hot.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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