So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
