piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
All I want is dick and wine.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
