Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
he thought i was a dude.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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