It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Randomize
